Please choose to be and to do.

Many days I come home from work, and can hear Leilei laughing and playing halfway down the street. I spot her among the kids playing basketball and riding bikes, and call out "Hi Leilei!' Sometimes she runs to me, and sometimes she's too busy playing to do more than yell back "Hi!"
Some days Libby is playing too, but often these days I don't see her till I come inside. There she is, sprawled in the big chair, watching TV. Her eyes literally glazed over.
"Don't you want to play outside with the kids?" I ask, as I bend down to kiss her.
Sometimes I stop myself from asking this, because I know the answer, and that kind of question always seems like a judgement.
She might say "It's too hot," or "It's too wet outside" or "there's no one to play with"--and I hate that last reply, because I know what she means--there might be kids outside, but there's no one to play with Libby, no one who gets her right at that moment. She's a sensitive girl. I am a sensitive girl, too, so I know how that can be.
I know how much easier it is to be quiet than to make suggestions. I know how much easier, because it is less painful, it is to remove yourself, rather than push yourself into a situation. Because you can't be rejected if you don't try to join in. Rejection hurts, so avoiding the group gives an immediate payoff--no pain. Trying to fit in might work, and would be fun, but that payoff is not definite, and the threat of pain is far stronger than the possibility of happiness.
It can be, in fact, easier to be sad than to be happy.
I want to say, "Libby, listen to me, because I know. In the long run, it is better to play. It is better to risk pain, in the hope of happiness. It is better to do and to be."
It is easy to be lonely, and easy to be sad. Just like it is easy to eat a bag of potato chips, and easy to watch TV hour after hour.
So, though I am not averse to taking the easy way out, in the case of the human heart, I urge my girl to be strong. Pain goes away eventually, but the fun times and friendships and memories you may collect, will be with you always.
Do I always set a good example? No way. I am an expert at retreat. But I'll try harder. Some are given the gift of a light heart, like my Leilei. Libby and I don't have that gift. But the heart is a muscle, and we can toughen it up if we try.