I have loved this February vacation! I was really worried about taking the week off, because 1. I didn't have enough vacation time to cover it, so had to take a pay reduction, and 2. I had recently been out for nearly a week with the flu. I thought being out again would make me "look bad."

Then I realized I would spend more money on vacation camp than I would lose by taking the pay reduction.

Also, I remembered how quickly all the Big Kids' vacations had gone by. I can't remember much about the weeks they spent at "vacation camp", but I cherish memories of the fun we had when I could squeeze some days out to spend with them. How much did working during the other days advance my career?

Um, not much.

How much did taking time off hurt my career?
I don't really know, obviously. I do know that I've had several long-term professional goals that haven't been realized. But I feel good about what I've been able to accomplish at work.

Do I "look bad" for taking the time off?
Probably. The truth is, unless she works with people who are also parents, a working mother will be resented at worse, and silently disapproved of at least, for leaving work when the school nurse calls, and for taking time off for doctor's appointments, school talent shows, and, of course, school vacation.
No matter how focused the working mother is while at work, no matter how productive her hours in the workplace are, co-workers who keep more regular hours will consider her a slacker.

I believe that dealing with the judgements of co-workers is the biggest obstacle when women try to combine work and parenting. If you let what other people think matter, you'll run yourself into the ground trying to please everyone--and you won't please everyone anyway.

So I am happy with how I spent the week. A few things came up at work that I was able to handle via phone and email. Meanwhile, Libby, Leilei, and I enjoyed relaxing mornings, had a fun scavenger hunt in the Arboretum, went sledding, and visited the Childrens' Museum. It wasn't all fun and games--we also fit in visits to Liver Doc Extraordinaire Dr. Maureen Jonas, to the eye doc--now both girls will be wearing glasses! Leilei's dream, to imitate Libby in all things, is coming true! And Libby had a dental procedure.

The best part of the vacation was just spending time together--simple, free, unstructured time.

I know how lucky I am to have this option. The majority of working mothers are not working in libraries with enlightened management--they are the moms I met doing the paper route, who had their kids sleeping in the cars while they did the route, before going on to their next job, or moms who work in restaurants or factories where, if you don't show up, you don't get paid, and if you don't show up enough times, you are told not to come back. I know this February vacation wasn't so much fun for lots of kids who stayed home alone, or in less than fun situations, or for mothers who would have preferred to spend time with their kids, but didn't have the choice.

So, in the scale of things, "looking bad" is easy to take.

Here's an interesting survey from Highlights Magazine which shows there is no perfect solution to the childcare problem. Barack, help!